Bullying is a topic I am happy to talk about. Not because I was the bully and felt the majority of my power but because I was a victim who survived it with flying colors.
When I was in grade school till early high school, I was a timid little girl that rarely talks to anyone. I guess that opens the gates to the people around me to test my patience. My classmates would throw broomsticks to my head and will never say sorry. They would laugh at my back and in my face because I was a super fatty. When I walked in front of them, they will move their leg forward and let me stumble with my face on the ground. They will come and disturb me while I’m writing my formal theme just to answer what’s the English of the word they want to know. Then the adults would tease me to death just to lower my confidence and when it did, they will say “that’s just a joke, can’t you accept a joke?”
That was before; bullying now takes on a subtler form—it’s no longer just a case of David versus Goliath, or the physically wear versus the physically strong. These days, it involves power play, social status, and a whole lot of mind games. This kind of emotional and psychological bullying tends to be more hurtful, and leaves a more lasting impression on the victim.
As a victim who survived bullying, I also don’t want others to feel bad about themselves. Here are the things I did to lift up my spirit and to be the winner I can be:
I pray. In anything that troubles me, I pray. I ask for guidance but mostly I ask questions why those people are doing this to me. I seek for answer through Him. Actually, it is mostly cleansing of the heart. At an early age, I already know that a corrupt heart will only have a corrupt life.
I say to myself: “I am beautiful”. Most of the reason why I was being bullied is because I did not protect myself and let them hurt me. But when I decided to face the mirror every morning, and say “I am beautiful. My family loves me, God takes care of me.” A start of the change happened.
I let others to talk to me. In this world, it is impossible that no one will talk to you. It is only possible if you can’t talk to them back. When I was in high school, I was seated to a corner but when my teacher gets mad to one of my classmates because she is so noisy, we changed seats. There, I was in a middle of two very talkative boys and they continuously talk to me like that was the first time they’ve met me. I am glad that those two likes’ people to laugh and I easily became comfortable.
I look for my circle. It took me a whole year just to find the people who will accept me for who I am. And I’m glad I waited and prepared myself first because when we’re together, we are a crazy ball of little ladies! We were from different cliques and when the time comes that each of us takes a little step backward from our comfort zones, we found each other and never let go. I even joined and participated in different activities that mostly are rejected but when I entered it, they have seen the effort I put in it and I gained the respect I thought I would never have.
And lastly, I look for reason’s to be happy. I ate chocolates from time to time. I use my creative talent and make a bubble talk out of my classmates pictures (they did not get mad, in fact, they are happy to see them in a happy situation), I DIY my own accessories that always gets attention and I read a lot of happy books.
Hey, life is too short to stay down there. It’s time to get ready yourself and go with the happy boat. Ready? Go!
